Please Eat Cake Correctly

by Alan:

When eating a slice of cake, please choose to eat it correctly.

Wrong Way

The fork is on the side with the top of the cake, where the frosting is.

Why Topside Fork is Wrong

> Every bite has frosting. There is no chance to enjoy the cake by itself.

> There is little chance to sample the filling in the middle. Bites which include the filling are likely to also have frosting, or to immediately follow bites which contain frosting. Either way, the flavor of the filling is diluted.

> Topside fork puts frosting up above the tines, where the fork is flat. After eating a bite, smears of frosting are often left on the fork. Yuck! Dirty forks with smears are gross!

Correct Way

The fork is on the side with the bottom of the cake, the plain cake side.

Why Bottomside Fork is Correct

> You can easily sample the cake, the filling and the frosting separately, and in that order. You can form combo bites too. This lets you appreciate the range of flavors in the slice you’re eating. You can savor the baker’s full skill and effort.

> Bottomside keeps your fork clean. The frosting never gets above the tines, so there are no smears. Classy!

Other Ways

> Standing the cake upright is impractical. The force of cutting a bite smooshes the slice. As you eat, your cake will eventually crash onto its side or, worse, off the plate. This way is wrong.

> Starting at the back, the frosting-covered tall end of the slice, is deviant. But, you love your frosting. Keep living your best life, deviant.

> Scraping off large amounts of frosting before taking a bite is completely understandable. There are many valid reasons why a person might do this. Do what you must to enjoy the greatness of cake. Frosting-scrapers should never be judged.

FAQ

> Yes, bottomside fork is correct even when the middle filling and outer frosting are the same. Because it’s not directly exposed to air, the middle frosting can taste and feel different than the outer frosting. Topside forkers don’t notice such subtleties.

> No, this does not apply to cake that does not come in slices. This rule does not apply to coffee cake, crab cake, etc.

If you have not been eating cake correctly, this is your chance to change. Convert! Become a bottomside forker and relish the depth of flavor offered by each delicious slice of cake.

How do you eat a slice of cake?