7 Terrible Jokes

Illustration by Alan

by Alan:

Here are seven jokes. Because of how memory and the cognitive unconscious work, I cannot promise that these jokes are entirely original.

1. It’s tough for people with superpowers to find a good doctor. The invisible man needs a check-up, but no one will see him.

2. If you take a hairy, hairy dog, cover him in honey and roll him in granola, how will he smell? With his nose.

3. The world’s worst fortuneteller walks into a bar. The barkeep asks, “What will you have?” The fortuneteller answers, “I don’t know.”

4. A guy walks into a restaurant, sits down and starts eating a calendar. The waiter greets him, “Welcome sir, can I get you something?” The guy says, “No, I’m just having one of these days.”

5. Which is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of matches? The feathers. Matches are a little lighter.

6. Every day when I get home from work, I say hello to my refrigerator. The thing always ignores me; it never says hello back. Why is it so cold?

7. A fancy truffle sandwich walks into a dive bar. The barkeep yells, “Hey, we don’t serve your kind here!”